Nelson's Guide for the Romantically Challenged
With Valentine's Day 1999 fast approaching (as of this writing it is February 2nd), I thought I would share some tips that could make for a nicer Valentine's Day for many of you. But don't strictly limit these suggestions to just one day a year - they are best implemented when the other party least expects them!
- PLAN, PLAN, PLAN being spontaneous is nice but sometimes a little planning can go a long way. Planning a romantic getaway, a special dinner, or just a romantic thought makes a great impression because it shows you've done the extra leg work to make it a special moment.
- LISTEN CAREFULLY communications experts often agree that many communications problems with couples are because one or both don't have the necessary listening skills. Take the time to hone your listening skills and remember the little things that your significant (or future significant) other tells you. You can often find out what their likes are in terms of favorite colors, favorite restaurants, favorite flowers, and the types of trinkets they may like. Use all of that information to add to your romantic plans and you won't ever be sorry.
- SURPRISE as Gomer Pyle would say "Surprise, Surprise, Surprise" (okay, I'm showing my age here) :) Surprises are great because you get to see the expression on the other person's face and those expressions are often priceless. It even helps if you have a camera handy to capture that moment in time forever!
- YOU-NIQUE be unique by adding your own style (or lack thereof) to your romantic notion. Getting flowers is something that anybody can do so think about how you can spice it up by adding your own special touch, style and flair. What does that mean? Well, how about getting a dozen roses but adding another dozen of chocolate roses with them? (Of course, make sure that your significant other isn't allergic to chocolate or else you'll have one romantically disastrous day to remember.) A romantic gesture means much more when it is uniquely identified as coming from you!
- SPARE CHANGE save your pennies and don't be cheap. Being romantic doesn't have to be expensive, but there may be some things you'll need to spend a little money on. Feel free to splurge every once in awhile. After all, you can't take it with you, right? If you know that your significant likes musical theatre, then why not splurge for some great seats to her/his favorite show and make a whole evening of it!
- DAILY THOUGHTS do something romantic at least once a day. It could be as simple as a nice thought expressed to your significant through email, phone, voicemail, a written note on a yellow post-it note, or whatever. Whatever it is, let the other person know how much they mean to you.
- SHHHH... set quiet time aside at least once a week where you and your significant can just spend time together. No words are necessary. Just stare into each other's eyes and smile for awhile. The mental connection that you can make this way can go a long way to keeping the romance alive.